Taking care of oneself isn’t just about eating healthy, exercising, resting, reading or indulging in recreational activities. Taking care of oneself includes keeping distance from people with negative mindset, whether it’s a family member or friend or someone we come in contact with regularly.
“Creating healthy boundaries is paramount for overall personal wellbeing.”
One must keep distance from people with negative mindset. “Negative mindset” is a strong personality trait which is often observed in the way people conduct themselves, generally emitting negative vibes/feelings through their words, actions or reactions.
And how do you recognise that someone has negative mindset?
Well, it’s pretty simple – observe the “intention” behind their words/actions/reactions.
Criticism is of two types, constructive criticism and destructive criticism. Our well-wishers often criticize us with our betterment in their minds and that’s constructive criticism, which we must pay attention to, and learn from.
Certain people who claim to be well-wishers, but have “negative mindset” find faults, blame, or criticize others randomly, which often results out of their internal unresolved emotional pain. And that could stem from variable emotions they internally feel within themselves, such as, jealous, guilt, insecurity, anxiety, low self-esteem, or some unresolved internal mental conflict which could have arisen out of an argument or unpleasant event they experienced (their unmet expectations).
Please note, this also could be one-off instance with someone and that’s okay, because frankly “we all” tend to experience such emotions within ourselves at one time or another, and regret our words/reactions later, which is observed from our improved behaviour. And this acceptance makes it easier for us to forgive ourselves, and others too.
However, if you find someone repeating this pattern more often, and you observe they are unapologetic about their behaviour, you ought to understand they have negative mindset. Such people are throwing their “unpleasant feelings” in the form of blame/criticism/unpleasant statements out of sheer emotional immaturity, and lack of self-control. And frankly, that’s their problem they need to work on.
We cannot change anyone, or teach maturity and reasonableness to anyone, especially someone who doesn’t believe in introspection and self-improvement.
People often improve when they are in a receptive mode to acknowledge their faulty habits/behaviour, and resolve to improve themselves and work towards it. And until they heal their emotional pain (gain maturity), keep distance from such people, if physically it isn’t possible, mentally you must get detached.
And how do you get detached?
By not taking anything they say or do personally. A simple understanding that it’s not about you, but about them, will help you stay detached. Their words or actions or reactions is simply erupting from their internal conflicts and is depicting their emotional coping mechanism. It offers you a sneak peek to their level of mental and emotional immaturity.
Don’t give way to their internal emotional drama into your system, to keep your mind healthy.
Take care of yourself, create healthy boundaries, keep distance from people with negative mindset, to stay healthy and happy.