Are you successful?
When someone asks this question to you, what does it make you think?
Just pause and think for a moment, what does success mean to you.
Now, that you’ve thought about it, do you feel proud within yourself right now, for being successful, or does that thought make you cringe, because you feel you haven’t arrived yet.
Let’s try to understand it.
What is “success” after all?
Is it wealth? Is it higher position? a big house? Is it fame? Is it fitness? Is it mental peace? Success has been given different names by different people.
What does success look like to you?
If you’ve bought someone else’s definition of success, and have been measuring your success from their scale, there’s high likelihood of you feeling unfulfilled or disappointed in yourself.
It’s not that you haven’t succeeded yet; it implies you are looking at your life from someone else’s lens, measuring your success from someone else’s scale.
Don’t go by the definition given in the dictionary, or by someone else’s parameters of success.
Success isn’t one size fits all.
Success isn’t a destination.
Success isn’t constant, and
Success isn’t noun.
It’s a verb that leads to its noun form.
Let me explain:
Success is twofold – one part lies in “the doing“, and the other in achieving “the sense of fulfilment“.
Success means different to different people, and it keeps changing from time to time, as everyone’s journey is different. Here’s how:
“For a 1 year old, it may be walking after falling ‘n’ number of times, for a 4 year old it may be writing A to Z all by himself, and how do you figure out that it means success to them? Well, they’d be beaming with joy, and it’d invariably bring a smile on your face too; for a 14 year old representing the school in a football competition and winning a trophy may mean success to him; for yet another boy in the losing football team, just playing well and participating and giving his best may mean success to him; for a 27 year old clearing a rigorous interview and getting through a dream company/job may mean success to him/her at that point of time; few years down the line, after feeling miserable in that same environment, finding his/her own purpose in life, and starting up his/her own venture at the age of 35 may mean success to him/ her. For someone success may look like shedding 30 kilos, for someone else it could be attaining a sculpted body; for someone it could be running a marathon and for someone else it could be just getting up one fine day from the bed and be able to walk after a long debilitating illness; for someone getting married to the dream person could mean success, or making things work out after a lot of struggle in their relationship may look like success to them, and yet, for someone else getting a divorce and ending an abusive relationship could mean success; for someone climbing the corporate ladder by putting in efforts could mean success, and for someone else beating depression and become alive again could mean success; for someone finally setting a routine of waking up at 5 a.m. to achieve their goals could mean success, and for someone else being able to finish up work at office early to get back to his/her family to enjoy family time may mean success; And yet, for someone else just going through their routine life, fulfilling their duties and carrying out daily responsibilities towards their family and home, and enjoying their family’s companionship could mean success.”
Each of us is born talented in our own unique ways. Not everyone is meant to be a singer or a doctor or a judge, etc. All it takes is, self-awareness, understand what truly energises us, and go for it with full commitment, no matter which area we may be looking at, to succeed in. Remember, it is “the doing” part that gets us to “the sense of fulfilment” part, which together makes us “successful“.
Everyone’s journey is different, everyone’s talents, preferences, priorities are different, and therefore, success looks different for different people at different stages of their lives, and in different areas of their lives. Success is a sense of achievement, a feeling of fulfilment within, at every step and every stage and every phase of life.
“Success is personal and an ongoing process”.
Success has to be a verb, the reason being, you could never achieve sense of fulfilment from the things outside of you. You may have observed the impermanence of possessions, which in a matter of few days, weeks, or months, of possessing, lose its original value it held in your eyes in the beginning, and you’d find yourself wanting for more, yet again, to attain that sense of fulfilment.
Truth be told, one can not derive sense of achievement from a possession, because it cannot match up with the “sense of fulfilment” one derives from “the doing” part, it’s immeasurable, for it requires one’s own efforts, and involves one’s emotions and feelings, which is personal and unique, and lives within oneself, forever.
It is this “sense of fulfilment” which is our “true wealth” that lies deep within us, and keeps growing every time with “our doing“.
I, now, invite you to scroll through all the images and feelings from your past, and measure success from “Your life’s own measuring scale“, and you’d realise you’ve been successful all through your life, in so many ways. How you measure your success could literally change the feeling within you instantly.
And, those areas of your life, where you feel you may not have particularly succeeded as yet, for example being over-weight, or not being able to find a suitable job or starting a career, or perhaps going through an unfulfilled relationship, whatever it may be for you, it doesn’t imply you are unsuccessful. All it means is, you need to pay a little more attention to that area of your life; find relevant solutions (which may again be unique for you) that suit your requirement at that point in time, and implement them consistently to achieve sense of fulfilment. Trust me you can do it, after all, it was “YOU” who fell ‘n’ number of times, yet never gave up, and finally started to walk at the age of 1.
You see, we all are programmed to succeed. We all were given this sense of persistence, and commitment from the beginning itself; it comes naturally to each one of us. Confusion ensued when we started listening to others stories and bought their definition of success, and sought their validation.
I hope, through this write-up, I have been able to sow a positive seed in your mind which will constantly remind you of how successful you already are, and help grow “sense of fulfilment” within you. And frankly, you’ll continue to succeed in every area of your life at every stage, when you honour yourself, and work with the sense of commitment and persistence that you were born with; just make sure this time when you measure your success, you carry your own lens, and your own measuring scale.