Don’t show your scars to the world my friend, or you’ll bleed again. Don’t share your painful experience either, its just a story for them, especially the ones who have had smooth sailing. And if you do, be ready for they’ll judge you for your actions/inactions; ridicule you for showing your vulnerable feelings; you may receive their backlash for choosing to do things differently, for choosing your own way to peace (moral and ethical, but not popularly practiced by society at large), disregarding your current state of being; they may even judge you for your part in the trauma you may be enduring; The friends/family you may have turned to, to get comforted by, might turn out to be your worst critics/abusers, making you lose your power to carry on.
They’ve just shown an unpleasant picture of their inner-self, because a person can portray externally, only what they are from within. It’s a quintessential mind-driven pattern people generally operate from, and such people are far from achieving emotional maturity. They need to be ignored and forgiven.
Forgive them for they can’t perceive beyond their senses could help them perceive. They are controlled by their limited mind and body, that perceives situations/things from its limited senses; and they can’t express any better, for they’ve demonstrated their emotional immaturity through their reactions, or not so uplifting monologue; nothing better could be expected out of them, so just ignore.
You see, they won’t understand the pain one undergoes or has undergone, until they have themselves experienced and endured similar pain or made deliberate effort to reach higher awareness/maturity level.
Don’t pay heed to their unsolicited advise or help, for they are driven by external validation. Don’t take their ‘backlash’/’criticism’ personally, for they are helpless beings confined in the prisons of the painful thoughts created by their minds.
If they can’t empathise or support you, and choose to vent their frustration instead, based on their judgements just to prove their point, you must create boundaries with them and never let them humiliate you ever again. It’s our responsibility to guard /protect ourselves from unnecessary, unsolicited drama.
“when we depend on people to build us up, they’ll have the same power to break us down.”
You don’t need others to rescue you. Some people (they could very well be your own family members), have an internal itch to poke their nose, with their self-assumed birthright to set things right in others lives. They don’t understand healthy concepts like, ‘creating/respecting emotional space’, ‘creating/respecting boundaries’, ‘respecting other’s privacy’ more popularly termed as ‘minding one’s own business’. The reason being, they weren’t taught these ‘healthy emotional empowerment habits’ by their caregivers while they were growing up, mostly because the caregivers themselves didn’t know any better; and they never made an effort to learn on their own during adulthood.
Let such people not occupy any space in your life, irrespective of how noble they may appear, to keep your sanity intact. It’s important to disconnect mentally and emotionally, even physically if possible, to find your way to peace.
I know it’s hard to accept a traumatic experience, all the more when the whole world appears to be judging/ blaming you for your trauma, and life does seem unfair at times when others seem to be having smooth sailing, but my friend, there’s more to life than meets the eye. I do understand (from personal experiences), it will never be easy to overcome trauma, more so, until we breakfree from the maze built by our minds.
Speaking from self-experience, traumatic experience is here to make you learn/unlearn something, to make you even stronger than before. Although, it isn’t appealing to learn this, but it does have a purpose, the potential to lead you to your ‘ultimate truth’; you’d witness gradual self-transformation only after overcoming it, with your endurance power and efforts.
I am not suggesting don’t seek therapy or share with anyone at all, and endure mental/emotional pain all alone in silence. Share it, but make sure you share it with some genuine heart (tried and tested before), who could understand your pain, and not judge you or condemn/ridicule you/your feelings, only to leave you powerless.
But, there’s no guarantee that, that genuine heart or a therapist may have all the answers you may be seeking; you’d eventually need to dive deep within, to tap into your own self-power that’s lying dormant within you, to overcome the trauma.
You have immense power within you my friend. You don’t need anyone to remind you how strong and powerful you are. Our
authentic self-power begins with self-awareness; awareness of the “the Authentic Self”.
The “Authentic Self” steps in, when the mind is paused, and thoughts it generated are questioned, one by one, for their accuracy and authenticity. You begin to empower yourself truly, when the mind and it’s limiting thoughts lose their control over you, and you feel free from the shackles of your mind or this physical world, feeling ALIVE in essence.
P.S. This blog is meant to empower those who have undergone trauma in their lives, and at some level feel broken within, and need to boost their self-esteem and need self-assurance.
P.S.S Trauma is the emotional response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope, causes feelings of helplessness, diminishes their sense of self. However, not everyone who experiences a stressful event will develop trauma, hence this article is only meant for those who felt traumatised due to a disterssing event in their lives.